So long long ago I made a blog, and then it died. Very abruptly. Or to be specific my laptop got juice on it and I wasn't able to figure out how to blog from an iPad. I'm sure it's possible but I didn't try very hard to figure it out.
Anyways I'm gonna try to bring it back to life, surprisingly enough there are actually recent views on this thing and thank you, Russia, for your interest in my blog.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Camille Learns How to Surf... Sorta
June, 2010 : I got a surfboard off Craigslist. But not just any surfboard, a SnappleBoard. Yeah. Real deal right here. Like it's a surfboard, with the snapple logo on it n shit. Basically the coolest thing ever. So my mom and her boyfriend at the time take my friend Kayla and I to Oceanside so we can figure out this surfing thing.. Which didn't exactly go as planned.
Also June, 2010 in the morning :
10:00 : We get to the beach pretty early in the day, go look around at the surf shops, and get psyched up about going surfing.
10:45 : Walk down to the beach, stop to give the squirrel a flower. True story.
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=give+a+squirrel+a+flower#/d4gqdv7
There's your proof for anyone thinking I'm a liar and a scoundrel.
11:00 : Wax up the surfboard, strip down to swimsuits.
11:30 : Sexy lifeguard takes next shift on the area of beach we're on. Awww Yeahhhh ;D
11:35 : Get in water. It's freezing balls. Because freezing balls is a unit of measuring temperature. If the freezing of water is when it is freezing 50 balls, then it was definitely freezing at least 40 balls in that water.
11:45 : I manage to ride in on a wae while laying flat on my stomach. It's a start. Kayla is nearby on the bodyboard.
11:55 : Kayla's turn, I go into the shallow water to get my bodyboarding on. Ride on a wave, it ends about 40 yards out from the shore, so I keep paddling in. Which was a pathetic attempt really since the water was pulling me back as fast as I was paddling forward.
11:58 : Still trying to get to the shore which is still a good 35 yards out of my reach. Sexy lifeguard comes to my rescue.
12:05 : Get back to where Kayla is at.
Me: "So guess who I was just talking to.."
Kayla: "Who??"
Me: "That hot lifeguard."
Kayla: "No way! What did he say??"
Me: "That is was okay to stand up and stop swimming because I was in shallow water."
1/4/2012 : Kayla still laughs at me.
Also June, 2010 in the morning :
10:00 : We get to the beach pretty early in the day, go look around at the surf shops, and get psyched up about going surfing.
10:45 : Walk down to the beach, stop to give the squirrel a flower. True story.
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=give+a+squirrel+a+flower#/d4gqdv7
There's your proof for anyone thinking I'm a liar and a scoundrel.
11:00 : Wax up the surfboard, strip down to swimsuits.
11:30 : Sexy lifeguard takes next shift on the area of beach we're on. Awww Yeahhhh ;D
11:35 : Get in water. It's freezing balls. Because freezing balls is a unit of measuring temperature. If the freezing of water is when it is freezing 50 balls, then it was definitely freezing at least 40 balls in that water.
11:45 : I manage to ride in on a wae while laying flat on my stomach. It's a start. Kayla is nearby on the bodyboard.
11:55 : Kayla's turn, I go into the shallow water to get my bodyboarding on. Ride on a wave, it ends about 40 yards out from the shore, so I keep paddling in. Which was a pathetic attempt really since the water was pulling me back as fast as I was paddling forward.
11:58 : Still trying to get to the shore which is still a good 35 yards out of my reach. Sexy lifeguard comes to my rescue.
12:05 : Get back to where Kayla is at.
Me: "So guess who I was just talking to.."
Kayla: "Who??"
Me: "That hot lifeguard."
Kayla: "No way! What did he say??"
Me: "That is was okay to stand up and stop swimming because I was in shallow water."
1/4/2012 : Kayla still laughs at me.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
10 Things Cats Don't Understand
1. Balancing Objects
For animals with a great sense of balance, cats really don't understand balance at all. Instead, they think that a folder precariously balanced on a ledge would make a good place to sprawl out on and take a nap. Good thing cats always land on their feet.
2. Computer Keyboards
My keyboard doesn't look like a sidewalk. It doesn't look like the floor either. So stop trying to walk on it.
3. Boobs
My boobs don't look like the sidewalk. They don't look like the floor either. So stop trying to walk on them while I'm trying to sleep.
4. It isn't cute when you do that kneading thing on a person's leg because even though you think it's a sign of affection you're actually just stabbing us over and over.
It hurts.
5. Human Food
If it's on a counter, table, plate, or in a cup... It's mine.
6. Swatting your paw at my dog will not make her go away.
It will just make her want to hang out with you even more because now it looks like you are throwing a ball and want to play fetch.
7. Shoelaces are not a threat.
"Woah! Did you see the size of that snake? Sucker was HUGE! It's hiding on your shoes and trying to blend in.. I'm gonna catch it! Don't worry, Camille's feet, this monster won't lurk in your shoes for long!" -My cat.
8. Love
Stop worrying, Cat. I'm petting your head, not strangling you. Please stop scratching me now, people are starting to think I'm emo.
9. Laser Pointers
That tiny red dot is a tiny red dot, not something you can eat, not something that's going to eat you, and not a tiny demon sent here to mock you for being an inadequate hunter because you can't catch light.
10. Night Time
It's for sleeping. Not trying to scale walls. I promise.
For animals with a great sense of balance, cats really don't understand balance at all. Instead, they think that a folder precariously balanced on a ledge would make a good place to sprawl out on and take a nap. Good thing cats always land on their feet.
2. Computer Keyboards
My keyboard doesn't look like a sidewalk. It doesn't look like the floor either. So stop trying to walk on it.
3. Boobs
My boobs don't look like the sidewalk. They don't look like the floor either. So stop trying to walk on them while I'm trying to sleep.
4. It isn't cute when you do that kneading thing on a person's leg because even though you think it's a sign of affection you're actually just stabbing us over and over.
It hurts.
5. Human Food
If it's on a counter, table, plate, or in a cup... It's mine.
6. Swatting your paw at my dog will not make her go away.
It will just make her want to hang out with you even more because now it looks like you are throwing a ball and want to play fetch.
7. Shoelaces are not a threat.
"Woah! Did you see the size of that snake? Sucker was HUGE! It's hiding on your shoes and trying to blend in.. I'm gonna catch it! Don't worry, Camille's feet, this monster won't lurk in your shoes for long!" -My cat.
8. Love
Stop worrying, Cat. I'm petting your head, not strangling you. Please stop scratching me now, people are starting to think I'm emo.
9. Laser Pointers
That tiny red dot is a tiny red dot, not something you can eat, not something that's going to eat you, and not a tiny demon sent here to mock you for being an inadequate hunter because you can't catch light.
10. Night Time
It's for sleeping. Not trying to scale walls. I promise.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Eeyore = Optimus Prime
It has been called to my attention that the same man that supplies the voice of Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh (Peter Cullen) also does the voice of Optimus Prime.
Now, imagine them exchanging scripts.
See what I did there? Piglett is a UNSC Warthog :D
And a tip of the hat to Ian for helping me concoct this all!
Now, imagine them exchanging scripts.
Or reversed...
And a tip of the hat to Ian for helping me concoct this all!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Batman is Impressed.
*talking about the UFC fight*
Ian: but man
it was glorious.
Camille: but man? is that like gay batman?
Ian: NANANANANANA BUTTMAAAN! GOOGLE SEARCH TIME!
Camille: He sees you when you're sleeping!
He knows when you're awake!
Ian: Well.. that was a bad idea..
Camille: He'll knock you out and rape your ass,..
Ian: Especially with the safe search off.
Camille: So keep 'em closed for goodness sake!
Ian: That is quite a jam.
Camille: It has a dance too! Well, really more of a jig.. or a boogy...
Ian: He's got a feeling. That I was about to make a shitty Black Eyed Peas reference.
Camille: He's sexy and he knows it. There, now we both made lame references.
Ian: You made an LMFAO reference tough, you lose more than I do by default. Actually that's toally debatable.
Camille: Black Eyed Peas < LMFAO
Ian: I think they're both pretty terrible. But also you. You're terrible. >:[
Camille: Yeah probably.
Ian: I totally got on the wrong bus after my English class today. And I was halfway to [next town over] before I gave a shit.
Camille: Did you do yoga on the bus?
Ian: No, I laughed for about 5 minutes though.
Camille: So no yoga then?
Ian: I had just texted my mom saying I'd see her in a few. Then I was all uhh.. wrong bus. Jk, see you in 20.
Camille: Why no yoga?!
Ian: I can't do yoga while laughing! I simply do not have the fortitude!
Camille: Dammit, Ian why won't you live out this dream for me?!?
Ian: You have to chase your own dreams, Camille! It has to be you!
Camille: I can't do yoga on a bus alone! I'll get raped!
Ian: Pshaw, if you can do yoga on a bus you can slap down a triangle choke on a bus!
Camille: Do you know what percentage of bus-yoga-doing girls get raped?? All of them!
Ian: 100% in Japan.
Camille: And triangle chokes are for trains. Yoga is for buses. I find your lack of Bus-Yoga disturbing.
Ian: Well I find your lack of bus-triangling disappointing.
Camille: I can't even remember the last time I was on a bus!
Ian: And now you will have no need for a bus. Your dreams will never come true.
Camille:
Ian:
Camille:
Ian:
Camille:
Ian: O.k. Most impressive.
Camille: >>Most Impressive
>>Impressive
Ian: SHHH
Camille: >>Impress.
Ian: SHHHHHHH
Camille: Batman is impressed.
Ian: Don't you point out my fallacies!
Camille:
Ian: but man
it was glorious.
Camille: but man? is that like gay batman?
Ian: NANANANANANA BUTTMAAAN! GOOGLE SEARCH TIME!
Camille: He sees you when you're sleeping!
He knows when you're awake!
Ian: Well.. that was a bad idea..
Camille: He'll knock you out and rape your ass,..
Ian: Especially with the safe search off.
Camille: So keep 'em closed for goodness sake!
Ian: That is quite a jam.
Camille: It has a dance too! Well, really more of a jig.. or a boogy...
Ian: He's got a feeling. That I was about to make a shitty Black Eyed Peas reference.
Camille: He's sexy and he knows it. There, now we both made lame references.
Ian: You made an LMFAO reference tough, you lose more than I do by default. Actually that's toally debatable.
Camille: Black Eyed Peas < LMFAO
Ian: I think they're both pretty terrible. But also you. You're terrible. >:[
Camille: Yeah probably.
Ian: I totally got on the wrong bus after my English class today. And I was halfway to [next town over] before I gave a shit.
Camille: Did you do yoga on the bus?
Ian: No, I laughed for about 5 minutes though.
Camille: So no yoga then?
Ian: I had just texted my mom saying I'd see her in a few. Then I was all uhh.. wrong bus. Jk, see you in 20.
Camille: Why no yoga?!
Ian: I can't do yoga while laughing! I simply do not have the fortitude!
Camille: Dammit, Ian why won't you live out this dream for me?!?
Ian: You have to chase your own dreams, Camille! It has to be you!
Camille: I can't do yoga on a bus alone! I'll get raped!
Ian: Pshaw, if you can do yoga on a bus you can slap down a triangle choke on a bus!
Camille: Do you know what percentage of bus-yoga-doing girls get raped?? All of them!
Ian: 100% in Japan.
Camille: And triangle chokes are for trains. Yoga is for buses. I find your lack of Bus-Yoga disturbing.
Ian: Well I find your lack of bus-triangling disappointing.
Camille: I can't even remember the last time I was on a bus!
Ian: And now you will have no need for a bus. Your dreams will never come true.
Camille:
Ian:
Camille:
Ian:
Camille:
Ian: O.k. Most impressive.
Camille: >>Most Impressive
>>Impressive
Ian: SHHH
Camille: >>Impress.
Ian: SHHHHHHH
Camille: Batman is impressed.
Ian: Don't you point out my fallacies!
Camille:
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Superpowers
One day I got asked what kind of superpower I would want to have. I was gonna say something like breathing fire or having meat vision or something useful like that but I got to thinking.. What superpower would I REALLY want?
The answer came to me, as most do, when I was half conscious laying in bed. I would want whatever superpower it is that Jean Grey has in the X-Men 3 movie. That woman can get Hugh Jackman naked just by looking at him and squinting her eyes a little bit. If that isn't useful I don't know what is.
I sure hope it works on other guys too, like Chris Hemsworth ;D
The answer came to me, as most do, when I was half conscious laying in bed. I would want whatever superpower it is that Jean Grey has in the X-Men 3 movie. That woman can get Hugh Jackman naked just by looking at him and squinting her eyes a little bit. If that isn't useful I don't know what is.
I sure hope it works on other guys too, like Chris Hemsworth ;D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)